Saturday, October 5, 2013

Resolving conflicts

I work part time as a CNA at a Healthcare facility on the weekends. I drive around and do personal care for patients, which have just been released from the hospital. I enjoy working with elderly patients because; they have very interesting stories to tell you about the past. Two of my patients live on the same street and I was suppose to see them at different times of the day, one in the morning and the other one in the afternoon.  Both are elderly and could not understand why I was not seeing them both in the morning. I totally agreed and went into the office to speak to my supervisor about the situation I was in because; I also did not want to come all the way back, to where I had just left.

She told me in so many words that I would have to do it that way so, everyday I had to try and make them understand that it was not my decision and I had to continue to do it this way. This bothered me because; I did not want to hurt anyone’s feeling. I decided to go and talk with my supervisor’s supervisor, who immediately understood and changed the schedule seeing both of them in the morning. My supervisor felt I should not have done that and I told her it was not personal; I was concerned about my patients care. We are not as close as we were but, I think our relationship is better this way.

The first strategy I should have used was Nonviolent Communication skills that details personal responsibility for our actions and the choices we make when we respond to others, as well as how to contribute to relationships based in cooperation and collaboration. For example, I think my approach was somewhat forceful and maybe I could have done it differently. I could have suggested we talk with her supervisor because; maybe it was not her decision to make. I should have suggested either morning or afternoon for both to be seen, which could have been a compromise for both of them. I could have used some of the principles of nonviolent communication to better help me resolve this conflict. My second strategy is to have refrained from how I expressed myself in that situation and the way I perceived the conversation to be.  NVC says we should express ourselves with honesty and clarity, while at the same time paying others a respectful and empathic attention ( cnvc.org).

All right colleagues, give me your honest opinions, I would love to hear what you think I should have done in this situation. Thanks I think, because I have not heard any answers yet.


The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). Retrieved from


3 comments:

  1. Kathleen,
    I was not present at the meeting with your supervisor so I do not know how you presented the information. However, based on what you stated here, I do not see where you went wrong. You went to your direct supervisor, stated your feelings as well as the reasoning for doing your job more effectively. You were helping the company by wanting to work more efficiently. When that did not work, you went to the next person in charge. I know your direct supervisor may have felt like it was personal, but you gave her a chance. Like I said, I was not there but it appears that your direct supervisor was not using good listening skills when you were trying to make your point. She may have been letting her stereotypes or perceptions about you cloud her listening. You stated that you felt you could have done things differently but I think from now on, your direct supervisor may listen to you more empathetically!
    Mary Jo

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  2. Kathleen,
    When it comes to working within a power structure, it can be very difficult. Supervisors can get very upset when you go "over their head". In my experience, many programs have a conflict resolution/grievance policy that outlines how to handle conflicts. When conflicts arise with a supervisor and can't be resolved, often the next step involves going to their supervisor. Does your agency have this type of a policy?

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  3. Kathleen,

    I’m sorry that you and your supervisor had difficulty communicating. Keeping the lines of communication open with your direct supervisor and maintaining a positive relationship with her is important. It seems that from the perspective of your supervisor’s supervisor, your request was easy to grant. Being a middle manager can be difficult. Do you have a sense as to why your supervisor felt it was best for you to retain the original schedule? Is is typical for your supervisor to react to a request from you in this way or are there other factors that you think may have been involved? It would be interesting to look at this situation from your direct supervisors perspective. Is there a way that you could have revisited the situation with your supervisor after her initial decision? Was there a way to include your supervisor in the discussion with her supervisor? This could have provided your supervisor with the opportunity to look at your request differently. The main concern in all of this is of course the best interest of the client. I’m glad that the needs of your patients were addressed. Their best interest should always be the main focus.

    Geralyn

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