Saturday, September 28, 2013

How You Evaluate Yourself as a Communicator

  After asking a few friends, I was shocked to hear they believe I tend to take on things that others should be doing for themselves. They think that I conform to everything and I take on too much of others responsibility. For instance, every year I take on organizing our family reunion, that takes a lot of time to get people to do each do their share. So, every year I say I am not doing it and to let some else be in charge, but it always end up being me that handle everything again.

So, while your concept strongly influences how you react with others, the opposite is also true; when you interact other people, you get impressions  from them that reveals how they will evaluate you as a person and how you communicate (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012).

 The two to things I want to share with others is the to become more of a better listener, rather than take over conversations to make sure I get my own point across, and to stop believing I am always right when in conversations.  

The second thing I learned was about the Platinum Rule that says to do unto others as they would have you do.This particular rule has made my understanding of communication better in my personal and my professional life to become a better communicator. In effective communication the goal is to try being empathic and take a positive action toward another individual different from yourself
(Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, 2011).
.
 Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon


O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s

3 comments:

  1. Kathleen,
    I found it so interesting that your friends said you take on too much responsibility and you do things for others that they should do for themselves. That is exactly what my coworkers tell me. I do consulting work with child care centers and my coworkers tell me that I am crippling my centers by doing too much for them. But you know, family also told me that when my children were young. I was told that my children would never be independent because I did too much for them. I did not feel I did too much, but that I was easing them into life's responsibilities. Now my children are very independent with one living about 2 hrs. from home and another living 12 hrs. from home. They work and attend college. They tend to all their own bills and household duties. You probably should let someone else be in charge of the reunion in the practical sense. However, my mindset in those situations is that this is what I can give back. Even if it is not fair or equal, it is what I can do. I always enjoy your posts.
    Mary Jo

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  2. Kathleen, Sometimes "No" is the hardest thing to say. Over the years I have become better at saying it in a way that is not harsh. I say well I can't do that but I can do this. It has helped me manage my hectic lifestyle while maintaining friendships and my sanity :)

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  3. Kathleen, I have a friend who sounds just like you. I call her Mz Fixit because she always wants to take the responsibility of doing everything because then it will be done right or it will be done in time or it will be done. This happens with her family, at work and also with friends. This went on for so long that she eventually got sick and could no longer do everything and had to depend on someone else. I was not happy about her being sick, but I was happy that she had a chance to see that others were not helpless. It is so hard as Terri stated to say "No" or to let go, but sometimes it is the kindest thing we can do for others.

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