How You Evaluate Yourself as a Communicator

  After asking a few friends, I was shocked to hear they believe I tend to take on things that others should be doing for themselves. They think that I conform to everything and I take on too much of others responsibility. For instance, every year I take on organizing our family reunion, that takes a lot of time to get people to do each do their share. So, every year I say I am not doing it and to let some else be in charge, but it always end up being me that handle everything again.

So, while your concept strongly influences how you react with others, the opposite is also true; when you interact other people, you get impressions  from them that reveals how they will evaluate you as a person and how you communicate (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012).

 The two to things I want to share with others is the to become more of a better listener, rather than take over conversations to make sure I get my own point across, and to stop believing I am always right when in conversations.  

The second thing I learned was about the Platinum Rule that says to do unto others as they would have you do.This particular rule has made my understanding of communication better in my personal and my professional life to become a better communicator. In effective communication the goal is to try being empathic and take a positive action toward another individual different from yourself

(Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, 2011).

.

 Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s

Diversity in communication

 I do not find that I communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures, but the conversation may be different.  Culture is shared values, beliefs in daily interaction within a group through language, behavior and customs (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010). But, if you are comfortable talking about your own culture, then you will become better at listening to others talk about theirs. I understand how discrimination has affected me so, I am more aware of how it affects other people. However, I do not feel that one culture is more important than another. I don’t think of cultures when I am communicating with others.

You have more in commony with family and friends of your own culture than people in a different culture that may not know anything about your culture. Learning about different cultures helps you to understand what someone else is all about. When you can make friends with people different from yourself, you can be open to making new friends with them in the same way as with anyone.

My first strategy is to become an effective listener with family, friends and colleagues.

The second of my strategies is to learn more about the Platinum Rule to communicate with others; learn to care more about others than myself to make my communication more efficient.

 Lastly, I learned not to be so judgmental and see what’s wrong through someone’s eyes (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Looking at Good luck Charlie

 The television show I decided to watch was Good Luck Charlie. It is a children show about a family that has a lot of family drama and comedy. I watch this show because, my grandchildren were over and they always watch this show. I begin by turning the sound down and watching it without the words. One of the daughters called Teddy and her boyfriend were sitting on the sofa, being without sound I assume they were having a conversation. All of sudden he goes outside and Teddy goes to open the door up. Not understanding what was going on I turned the sound up and he decided to go outside and come in and ask her to the prom in a gentleman fashion.  When her mother found it was time for prom, excitedly she asked Teddy to wear her prom dress. Of course, Teddy was astonished that her mother asked her to wear her old prom dress to the prom.

Looking at this show without the sound I found that I interpreted differently as to what they were talking about. Teddy decided she would hide her dress outside and led her mother to believe she was wearing her prom dress. Her brother P.J. also needed a date to the prom so,Teddy found him a prom date. P J.’s expression was of surprise when he found out his date was home schooled and her prom was going to be in the basement of her home. He felt disappointed about the prom and text his family about what was going on.

Teddy and Spencer were at her prom and Teddy had changed into her dress instead of her mother dress. Feeling sorry for her brother she decided to attend his prom in the basement of his date’s house. In the meantime, knowing how disappointed her son was, his parent decided to go to prom in the basement as well. Walking in the basement Teddy’s mother was very disappointed that Teddy did not wear her dress. Teddy felt bad and talk her mother into wearing her own dress, they all enjoyed the prom in the basement.

From Listening to this program, I learned listening is the most used communication skill of them all. I interpreted wrong by looking than by listening. Although perception is often blamed for communication problems, it is a necessary element in making sense of the world.

  

"Listening Skills"

Copyright 2011 by Houghton Mifflin. Reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin via the Copyright Clearance Center

Wk 1 Effective Communicators

The person I think of who demonstrates competent communication for me was; Martin Luther King Jr. Every time I have heard him speak so profoundly, it was like I was listening for the first time. I believe he was a very powerful speaker. He'd begin speaking slowly and would increase the pace and volume, I think to draw the audience to what he was saying. I found out that his “I Have a Dream” speech, was not written and he improvised it from speeches he had done over the years. 

That impressed me so much about him, and I found it to be one of the best speeches I have ever heard.”King was also a master of using a simple, yet key phrases like "I have a dream," again and again in his speeches. That kind of repetitive structure enabled him to clearly make his main point and at the same time make it easy for the audience to come along with him” (Six Qualities, 2010). Martin Luther King Jr. has set the bar so astronomically high, but I would like to model my communication behavior after him to improve myself, even though, I could never do it in the way he did.

Six Qualities That Made Martin Luther King, Jr. a Great Speaker  Retrieved from

http://www.govexec.com/excellence/executive-coach/2010/01/six-qualities-that-made-martin-luther-king-jr-a-great-speaker/39565/ - 94k -

Professional Hopes and Goals

One hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds; are how to be culturally competent and respect different cultures and their ways of living. I want to have an ability to understand and to honor those differences. This has to be an everyday practice for educators to demonstrate an ongoing commitment, to developing their own cultural competence and in the process with families and communities. Educators have to view families as a central unit to children’s sense of being and belonging in order to be a success in lifelong learning. As educators of children we need to help children to learn about and how to except others from different cultures as well.

One goal I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice; are for all children and families to have a sense of belonging, experience and affirmation of their identities and cultural ways of being. All children must have access to participate in the education they need to become successful and contributing members of society (Derman-Sparks, & Edwards, 2010).

To Dr. Snider,

Thank you for a very soul searching and amazing course. In racism we all think we know about the content of this subject but, I have found I needed to learn so much more on the issues of diversity, equity, and social justice. This course explained it better.

To my colleagues, I have chatted with for 8 weeks and have learned how dedicated we all are to love teaching children of all cultures. I thank you for your support and hope to see you all again in future classes

.Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

Welcoming Families From Around the World

The name of “my” family’s country of origin is Uganda.

The five ways in which I will prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards this family are:

 (1. to respect and honor their culture and traditions.

(2. to try and learn the language to help them feel safe.

 (3.I would want them to keep their own religion to keep them grounded in their culture.

(4. I will find foods and incorporate them when cooking

(5. to create a school environment that accepts their children for who they are and where they come from.

 I hope that these preparations will benefit both the family and myself because; I understand that culture and family traditions are important for anyone’s identity. By creating a positive and caring environment, respecting each other’s cultural background in any way is the most important thing to do. If you are strong about own culture, then you will be better listening to others talk about theirs. Knowing how prejudice and discrimination has affected me, has made me more aware of how it has affected others.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in this incident diminish equity?   Well, I have a friend, who works at a plant making doors. It’s owned by a white family. He is always telling of the racist things that are said to him. I decided to ask him if he had an incident at his job that was something he could tell me specifically on bias, prejudice and/or oppression in an incident that would diminish equity. He began to tell me something that to this day, even though it was about twenty years ago, he would never forget it. He asked one day whether they were off on Martin Luther King’s birthday and the white guy said I’ll be back to let you.

A foreign guy who did not know English very well brought him a rope, and said this was his answer to the question Of King’s birthday; it was tied like a rope you would hang someone with. This foreign guy did not understand how degrading the incident was, which was why they put him up to do it. The article Inverting Racism’s Distortions states; that while racism is readily identifiable in its more extreme manifestations, hate crimes and other forms of physical violence, explicit discrimination comes in the form of education and employment settings, etc.,

( MARGLES, & MARGLES, 2010).

The feelings he had from this incident was at first to get angry, then he realized that racism was not going to ever change and he worked for the kind of people that allowed this to happen and thought nothing about it. Even after over 20 years this incident is still embedded in his mind.

What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity would be first, the change of the dominant culture. Simply, because the dominant culture is the one that controls what society thinks and feel. As long as they feel superior, it may not ever change. This article explains that no one is born racist. Racism is taught and the lives of whites would go better if racism didn’t exist. Racism hurts us all. It is in the interest of the oppressor group and the group targeted that will end racism. Our full intellect, capacities and human bond are all at risk

 ( MARGLES, & MARGLES, 2010).

MARGLES, S., & MARGLES, R. (2010). Inverting Racism's Distortions. Our Schools / Our Selves, 19(3), 137-149.